US Steel Heinously Requests that Steeler Fan-Employees Come to Work

Here's a NON-story of the year for you.

I started hearing about this on ESPN Radio last night and my opinion on the matter has not wavered one bit. If you're too lazy to read the whole article, here's a snippet...

It's only natural that Pittsburgh-area steelworkers would want to watch the Pittsburgh Steelers in Sunday's Super Bowl.

But a U.S. Steel memo says workers in the Clairton, Irvin and Edgar Thomson mills who miss work Sunday or Monday "without just cause" will face "severe disciplinary action."
The United Steelworkers union has criticized the memo. A U.S. Steel spokeswoman tells the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette that the company doesn't comment on employee relations.

Those Capitalist bastards! How dare they ask their employees to come to work on a regularly scheduled shift! I mean, COME ON! Their favorite football team is vying for the Lombardi Trophy! This event has only featured their team three times in the last six years.

Seriously, what do these talking (empty) heads expect? Should US Steel just drop everything and let their supply dwindle off for 24 viable working hours? Should they get their Chinese buyers on the phone and say "Sorry, fellas, but the Big Game is on and, well, you know how it is. Actually, I guess you really don't. Do you guys take any Sundays off, ever? Well, if you give us a few more days we'll..." By this point in the conversation the caller will actually hear the walls of the new Chinese steel plant being erected in the background. Companies like US Steel can not afford to take a day off. This isn't a mom-and-pop general store that doesn't really concern itself with profit margins or being open regular hours. A day of non-productivity could absolutely shut them down. Just look at the American auto industry (once big time steel buyers themselves). They fell behind to foreign competition that will work cheaper and faster than anyone in the US cares to. You think US Steel has the best prices on the planet? No, they stay in business by being reliable and delivering quality each and every time. You can't do that when you give all the guys the day off to go get drunk and riot all night. By implication, you not only lose Sunday to the game but also Monday to the ensuing hangover (even if they show to work they'll be inefficient, possibly to a dangerous extent). It just doesn't make business sense AT ALL, and it shows how out of touch these sports analysts are that this is even a story.


Still reading? I respect that. There's more after the jump!




Now, even though I resent the Steelers mightily (due to their recent string of success), I do pity the poor fans that can't make it to the Super Bowl party. Not the casual "Halftime Show and commercials" types, but the true fans that work overtime to buy season tickets, or even better, a giant super hi def TV to watch the games on at home (it's cold as shit there, after all). You have to wonder if these guys who are working Sunday are true fans at all, because by implication they've been working every Sunday through this season and likely many past ones. But who knows? Maybe their schedules rotate or something.

Anyways, I've been kind enough to come up with a few ways around this "crusty old litigation" that should be enough to please a real fan.

1. Get a damn TiVo/DVR! You know, those things that have been saving sports fans' butts for years when their wives drag them out to eat for something stupid, you know, like an "anniversary" or "her birthday". Now, being that you're a big ass steel worker, you can walk into work and make the declaration IMMEDIATELY that you're recording the game and if everyone wants to keep their scrotums intact they best keep any outside information to themselves. This way you won't get the evil Capitalist pig managerial types upstairs announcing the final score on the PA system after watching the whole thing in their cushy offices. Nothing could piss you off more, believe me. You'll also have to watch out when interacting with the guys using strategy #2.

2. This one's potentially cheaper and a Sunday Church classic. Get one of those chintzy little AM/FM radios and a set of earbuds. Now, seeing that you work with molten metal and large machinery, you probably have some sort of totally unfair rule against cutting off your hearing with earbuds. To counter this, I recommend the low tech option of cutting one of the earbuds off where they cord splits apart. Put the intact earbud on the side that your managers and any snitchy Packer fans are least likely to see it. If you want to go hi-tech and really increase your odds, you could do the fancy Bluetooth earbuds that could easily pass as earplugs which no doubt are worn in a steel mill. Fair warning: it might be hard to find a chintzy AM/FM radio with Bluetooth support. What do I gotta think of EVERYTHING around here? Geez.

3. Quit your job at the steel mill and brave the worst economy this country's seen in decades. Maybe you could get a job as a bartender at one of those Pittsburgh gay bars. As we all know...

You Work Hard, and You Play Hard!

Let's go Packers. I've been rootin' for 'em since the Raiders were out of the race.